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Where can I hang my knickers?

Updated: Oct 10, 2021

A waisted hour today, faffing around in the morning sun.

In our new site contract, for this year states, all clothes lines are to be dug up, henceforth and forthwith. So Dan said, and he's the site factotum, so should now. But actually he didn't. Digression again.

For our first year I used a line strung from the corner of the van to my car roof rack, that worked for small things. Then when I got a washing machine and decking around the van, for my safety. I upgraded to one of those whirly-ma-gig things you plant in the ground. That worked for 4 years, with a few upgrades, until now. Now the site is chuntering, chattering and whispering (the Chinese variety).


1: You can put them out during the day but you have to bring them in during the night. 2) Another claimed on good knowledge, you only have to bring them in when they are cutting the grass. 3)The next was you can put your line on your decking, look I bought a stand for mine, it only cost £20. 4)The prophet of doom said, you are not allowed to air your linen in public at all.


Enough of these East Asian mumblings, I'll go straight to the organ grinder. Being all internet savvy and all, I posted the question on the company's Facebook page. It sat there all day with no reply, then they removed it. Am I annoyed, not at all, this is Yorkshire it has its own logic and I'm here to chill and paint. But I do have to dry my smalls and my substantial's. I contacted the boss in the office by email, to ask why my question was removed unanswered. She said you are not allowed to post on our site! and you are not allowed clothes lines!

I love Yorkshire!


With no real facts, I had to choose an option, I decided on option 3, put it on the decking but I'm going to spend £20 on a stand. A few bricks and some cable ties, that'll do the job. That's what I told Alistair, he said, let's give it a go.


We, well actually, he got the cable ties from the toolbox along with his trusty side cutters. Alistair likes to be prepared for anything. He extracts the offending clothesline from its whole in the sand, and carries it up the steps onto the deck. I do my bit by giving him the bricks through the decking bars. We need approx three bricks to prop the clothesline just enough for the swinging parts to be above the rails. We were doing grand, bricks in place, pole embedded in the top brick, and cable ties in place.


"You can't do that, you can't put that there, you're not allowed clotheslines!" It was Dan the Man, tall and handsome in his company uniform, striding towards us with purpose.

" I know who the snitch is!" I said with a smirk, " it's the person who suggested I put here!"

Dan looked all sweet and innocent, said " I was just walking past when I saw you. Nobody told me nothing"

" You're a good liar." I thought." They told you something!"

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